Thursday, January 10, 2013

Now Accepting Applications For a New Best Friend

I am a loyal, honest, funny, trustworthy dog lover who loves to go shopping or just hang out and be goofy. Will you be my best friend? I will give you a cupcake!

This start out cute, but it turns Debbie Downer really fast, and I apologize ahead of time. It is just something that I have kept in for a long time, and I need to let out.

Everyone has a "best friend." Of course, it means different things at different times in your life. When we were in elementary school, we had a new best friend every day week.

 I consider my husband and my mom my "best friends."

However, you all know what I mean....your best friend is your best gal pal that has been there for you through thick and thin. The one who tells you that you look fat in those pants in the fitting room. The one that reminded you that "so and so" was a bad idea the first time you dated, and probably hasn't changed since. The one who cried with you when you were down, and was always there for you.

My mom has been "best friends" with her best friend since high school. They live 14 hours apart, and end up buying the same outfit at New York and Company. They talk on the phone every week, and send each other Christmas and Birthday presents. They make plans to meet up as often as they can, and sometimes I am even lucky enough to be invited. My mom's best friend is my Godmother, and I think of her as an aunt because I don't have a real aunt (both my parents were only children.)

I used to have a best friend until the summer of 2011. We met in high school, coincidentally both of our families moved to Georgia a few weeks apart and the High School was HUGE. There were always new people coming and going, so no one really cares or talks to "the new kids." So we instantly bonded when our Spanish teacher paired us up together, and became best friends. We were inseparable.  We went to the same college, roomed together for years, best friends.

There are always problems in any relationship. You have a little argument about something stupid, or you lose sight of priorities, maybe get caught up in a relationship with someone and don't have as much time as you used to. We of course had those issues, but we always remained there for each other. There was even a year that she was in a bad relationship, completely separated herself from me and the rest of our friends. When she realized that she needed to get out, I was there for questions asked. I introduced her to all the people I had met over that year and became good friends with, and helped her get her life back.

In fact, there were many times I was treated terribly or neglected by her and I was always there and put that aside. Sometimes in relationships you have to give a lot more than you receive. You just hope that one day if you ever need that person to be a giver, they step up and give. That never really happened in this case.

I won't go through all details of the demise of our friendship. I know she was in a dark place in her life, and I tried really hard to be there. I looked past so many things that she was doing and to just be there. She was selfish. She couldn't be happy for me at a good time in my life. She betrayed me in some ways that just hurt my heart and soul. When I started standing up for myself and not giving in to every little thing, it got ugly. One day when I was at work she called me and I couldn't answer. I apologized about 15 minutes after I saw the call come in, and she got mad at me and said that I never answer her calls. Um, I am at work and it was one call? She then sent a text to me saying "Maybe it would be best if we aren't friends anymore. It is too stressful for me." And that was it. I replied back with something like, "It makes me sad that 13 years of friendship could be thrown away like this, and I don't even know why." Never to hear from her again.

I try not to let it bother me. There are 3 other girls that we were friends with throughout high school and college that she completely quit talking to. I didn't question it much then, she was my best friend and I stood by the decision, they all must have been bitches, right? I guess it was just a matter of time before it was my turn to go.

Two years have gone by, and it still bothers me. It bothers me because I don't really know what I did wrong. It bothers me because I miss my best friend. It bothers me because I thought we would be the same way that my mom and her best friend are. We used to joke around about being the creepy old dog ladies if we never found anyone.

If you are still reading this post, sorry that it is so long and woe is me I am a Debbie Downer. I just wonder, have you have been un-friended and you never understood why?

Don't get me wrong, I have the greatest family and friends in the world. There are just some things I don't understand in life...and I tend to think about these things as I get ready in the morning, on my drive in, or as I try and fall asleep at night. This is what hit me this morning when I was getting ready. Why does it still bother me? I hate when I upset someone and I can't fix it. I am a people pleaser and I hate confrontation. I know that people are placed in your life, and sometimes they are just there for just a season, and sometimes they are there forever. Perhaps it is just a life lesson.

1 comment:

  1. Oh boy... this sounds just like my life at the moment! And being in a new city... it can really make things interesting!! Especially when you move here and were close friends with the ones who wanted you to move here in the first place, and then once we move here they act like they don't even know you? YEP! Been there, done that! Ugh!


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