Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Hello My Name is Awkward

Sometimes when I am driving home from a long day at work...or when I am doing my make up in the mornings...I think about how I miss having a best friend. My husband and my mom are my best friends of course...but you know what I mean...a best girl friend that you can have certain discussions with that you can't really talk to your husband or mom about. Someone that knows you well enough to not have to ask certain things, they just know.

I miss having that person to call and talk to on my way home at night just because. I miss the conversations full of nothing at all that can go on for an hour with no silence. Someone I can tell about my most recent shopping experience, or discuss why I hate the way my hair falls some days or how I hate the way my legs look in shorts.

It got me thinking, how does one even make friends as an adult? I guess I should clarify by saying, an adult that is not in school. I have friends back in Atlanta, but since moving to Birmingham, I have had to get creative. I try and make friends with whomever my husband is friends with. I have made friends through the various jobs that I have. And most recently I have attempted to make friends with other bloggers in the area. But how else does one make friends?

I can't very well go up to a normal looking person in the store that is interested in the same shirt as me and say "Hey, we like the same style...let's  go grab some coffee and get a pedi." That isn't awkward or creepy at all.

Or while in the Publix notice that there is someone with a cart full of similar meals for the week and ask if they want to get together and swap recipes. That doesn't seem stalkerish in the least bit.

I had thought about trying to join a gym and maybe meet people in classes....but my work schedule doesn't really allow for that. Plus, when I am at the gym I am there to get my work out on and not make friendly chit chat...I would assume other people are there for the same thing, no?

It almost seems as if everyone is already set and comfortable in their own little circles, and aren't really looking for anyone new to join on in. I know that as adults, we become so wrapped up in our own lives, careers, marriages/relationships and we are all in different places that sometimes you might become disconnected with friends along the way.

I feel like when we were in college, we were all at the same stage in life. We were all focused on school and trying to figure out who we were and what we were going to do. Then when we graduated we were all let go into the real world, and some of us focused on our careers, some of us went and got married, some of us had kids, some of us still party like we are in college....we are all over the place. A lot of friends that have kids don't have time for anything else. The days of them wanting to go grab a coffee or spend a few hours at the mall are long gone. Some of the single friends think that just because you got married, you aren't cool to hang with anymore and move on without you. Some people have moved out of state and out of mind.

Does anyone else find it difficult to make friends as adults? fd


  1. I'm right with you girl. Moving here brought a lot of difficulties, but one of the main ones is having that group of friends here that we still have back home in Meridian. I wish we lived closer cause you know we'd have y'all over to the house all the time. But, yes... how does one go about meeting and gaining new friends at this stage in life? I can tell you we will be having a blogger meet up in September, and I hope you'll come. A feel like that's the only way I'm going to meet new people here is through blogging because they love the same thing that I do!

  2. i think it's much easier to meet people through other people. two of our newest members came from vancouver and an existing girl in our circle asked us to take care of her so we invited her out with us and she's so awesome and we're so happy to have met her.

    even though i have a kid, i always make time for my friends; you can't just leave your friends behind just because you have a child! so we all make a point to get together with the group (mixture of non-parents and parents) sans kids and just talk about everything/catch up.

    i'm sure it's hard to meet someone as an adult; you're all jaded and whatnot that maybe adults are a bit more apprehensive when meeting new people? in any case, have you ever tried to do a blogger meet up? i heard those are hugely successful. i wish i had a blogger meet up in my city; i'd go just to meet new blogers!

    Vodka and Soda

  3. I feel you. I think I've had these exact same thoughts. It's weird as an adult isn't it?

  4. I agree with Kathy, it's easier to meet people through other people.

    I've met most of my adult friends through other friends or through one of my husband's hobbies (he's involved in a big traditional organization in town).

    I've also made good friends through volunteering.

  5. Does Birmingham have active Meetup groups? I just moved to Charlotte with my husband and don't know a soul, but joined a Newbie Meetup group for women. At the first meet up I went to, everyone talked about how hard it is to meet people in a new city. It was really nice that everyone was putting themselves out there. Hasn't led to finding a new best friend (yet??), but at least it gets me out of the house and socializing with other people.

    For me, the time immediately after moving was exciting and it didn't matter that we knew no one, and now it's getting to be like, okay I need to get out there and meet some people before I go full-fledged hermit.

    1. There is a Young Professionals group here in Birmingham, but it is more of single people trying to snag a date it seems to me. Not very professional. Plus, they are mostly in their early 20's and still like to party. I am going to be 30 in a week...not really my scene. I am thinking maybe I need to start volunteering somewhere or something and maybe meet people that way? I am glad I am not the only one who struggles with this. It makes me feel better that it just isn't me being a loser haha :)

      Have a great weekend!


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