Then I thought about it and I really should have my shit together by now, shouldn't I? I mean, I am married and I have a good job. We are home owners, have nice cars, pay our bills, go on planned vacations, act like adults most of the time. OK maybe not most of the time, whatever. However, I feel as if I am still a child waiting to grow up. Am I the only person out there feeling this way? How have so many years passed since I graduated high school and college!? What seems like just yesterday at times (and forever ago at other times)...I was at UWG getting my BBA and having fun with my friends. I didn't realize at the time, but I didn't have a care in the world. Things seemed so different then, like my whole life was ahead of me just waiting to be conquered.
Here I stand at nearly 30. T-H-I-R-T-Y. Thirty. Shit. That's old. Like legit old. I used to think 30 was so old. Yet now...it feels so young, right? Isn't 30 the new 20 and 40 the new 30?
When did 21 year olds look like babies? Like for real. I have noticed that going out on any given weekend night I find myself looking around at these kids holding beers. Do they have a fake ID? What parent let their kid out wearing that short dress, you can see her ass. Oh wait, shes 22? Since when? She looks TWELVE! When did this happen? I know when I was 22 I wasn't wearing shorts that short or dresses that look like that. Clothes have changed.
No they haven't. I have gotten old.
While I have learned many life lessons, I feel like I know nothing. I have gained some new friends and lost some that I thought I would have forever. I changed career paths more than a time or two. There have been things that have happened in life that just aren't fair and blessings that probably weren't deserved. I have made lots of mistakes, I am far from perfect. I have hope that maybe I have helped someone a time or two as well.
As I get closer to the day, I realize more and more that life is short. That is such a cliche, but it really is. Time just keeps on flying by year by year. I feel like Christmas wasn't that long ago and, yet it isn't that far off either. I also have my body letting me know that I better start really taking care of it, as things start breaking down little by little.
As the day seems to draw nearer and nearer, I am just going to work on embracing it. You know, probably because there is really no other option....you ain't getting any younger. Am I right? Thirty is the new twenty darlings, that's the fact. I am not getting older, I am leveling up!
You know Nadine, I feel that same way, but I think it really is a great mindset. I'm so glad that I still feel young and that I don't have my shit together. This means that I still have work to do around here. I've still got things I want to accomplish and I've got the heart of a child to do it. I will be really worried when I feel like "I've made it" and have nothing left to learn.
ReplyDelete